LEADERS WHO SERVE

#02 - The most basic definition of a servant leader is one who leads by serving others.  Servant leaders empower individuals, focus on their growth, and ensure their basic needs are met.  Servant leaders inspire others to do their best, guide others by their influence and positive example, and hold themselves and individuals on their team to account.

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Hello, and welcome, members of Cohort 2 of LUMC Team 412.  We’re off and running on this new venture.  I’m so glad you are here as a part of this cohort, and that you’ll enjoy each episode of this podcast series.  As always, please call or email me with any questions, concerns or suggestions you have.

This is Episode #2, about LEADERS WHO SERVE, the characteristics and qualities of servant leaders.  This will be more of an overview.  There are many books and articles available for your further in-depth study, so we’re going to focus on the main points and how these apply to YOU as you prepare to lead others in a new way.  It will take you time and lots of practice to put all these pieces to good use, but we will at least get a good start. Of course, you may already have some experience as a servant leader, and that’s good.  We’ll focus on helping you BECOME BETTER at it.  Sound familiar?  Good!

So, let’s get started.  The concept of servant leader is becoming better known in the business world and is becoming the model for today’s leaders.  The old top-down “I’m the boss and you’ll do as I say” model of leadership is – thankfully - giving way to a more collaborative, more empowering, more values-oriented style.

Many of us probably think mostly of servant leadership in a religious context.  That’s an excellent model to follow, however the term is being used more broadly to describe good qualities and characteristics of today’s leaders.  The most basic definition of a servant leader is one who leads by serving others, yet there’s so much more to it than that!  Servant leaders empower individuals, focus on their growth, and ensure their basic needs are met.  Servant leaders inspire others to do their best, guide others by their influence and positive example, and – servant leaders aren’t wimpy!  They hold themselves and individuals on their team to account.  How is that like YOU?

There are so many books and articles about principles of servant leadership, characteristics of caring leaders, qualities of servant leaders that we could easily get lost in the lists.  Here are just ten different qualities or characteristics from those many lists:  integrity, empowerment, listening, empathy, commitment, community, foresight, humility, authenticity.  These all are excellent examples of qualities and characteristics to practice in becoming a servant leader.

Out of so many, I’ve selected the five most frequently mentioned.  The others are just as important and deserve your attention as well.  The top five qualities or characteristics of a servant leader most often mentioned are:  TRUST, LISTENING, EMPATHY, VISION, and DEVELOPMENT.  Sometimes the words are different, but I’ve condensed them a bit for some clarity.  Let’s take a brief look at each one, and then we’ll consider how these apply to YOU:

·      TRUST – in my opinion, this just has to come first.  TRUST is the foundation of all the other things to follow.  Where there is TRUST, there is CREDIBILITY and there are the makings of a cohesive, well-functioning team and a thriving ministry.  TRUST must be earned all day, every day and through every interaction with the people you lead.  TRUST is hard to earn and so easy to lose.  We’re going to talk more about TRUST in a following episode, but for now, think about how TRUST plays a vital role in all our dealings with other people.

·      LISTENING – the importance of engaged listening is near the top as an important quality or characteristic of servant leaders.  Listening has been described as the JUDO of communication skills – it’s gentle, flexible, and REALLY powerful.  Good leaders listen well to what is being said, paying close attention to the person speaking to them, noticing what is being said, what gestures accompany the speaking, and perhaps what is left unsaid.  Great leaders listen even better.  One person called it “squinting with your ears.”   What a great term!  A following podcast episode is all about listening, how good listening enhances your role as a leader, and how poor listening undermines that role.

·      EMPATHY – this is one of the main distinctions of being a servant leader, and that is caring about the people you serve.  Servant leaders focus on people rather than on the company, the organization, the church itself.  Simon Sinek describes a leader with empathy as not about being in charge, but about taking care of those in your charge.  The really important distinction here is that you share thoughts and feelings of another person from their point of view rather than your own.  Remember, being a servant leader is not about you.

·      VISION – this is perhaps a leader’s most unique quality, and that is the ability to grasp the whole project or task, and to inspire that vision to everyone you lead.  Sometimes, it’s a tangible goal, and sometimes it’s only an idea or concept.  The leaders’ job is to help others do their part so that the whole becomes a reality.  Here’s an example or three:  think of President Kennedy’s vision of landing a man on the moon within a decade.  What an absurd idea, many thought, yet it happened.  The impossible happened.  Walt Disney had a vision of Disneyland – and look what became of that old orange grove in Anaheim, California, and several other places as well!  Martin Luther King Jr’s “I Have a Dream” speech still rings loud and clear, inspiring many to this day with his vision of what could be.  He wasn’t bogged down with what was happening at the moment.  He saw what could become reality and went all out for it.

·      DEVELOPMENT – there are many things all wrapped up in this rather general term.  A servant leader seeks to make it better for everyone by a commitment to the growth of people, by building a good team or ministry, by encouraging and committing to self-development, and by a commitment to excellence.  It’s more than that – it’s a commitment to always aiming for BETTER.  No matter how well we do something, it can always be better.  A product can always be improved.  A way of doing things can always be done in a better way.  You can always learn something new.  You can always encourage someone to improve whatever it is that they already do well, and – this is the most important part that is often overlooked – hold them to account for their actions. 

That last part can be too easily brushed aside or downplayed in church committees, yet it is essential to your success as a servant leader, and that big word is ACCOUNTABILITY.  Holding others to account is a vital part of serving others, yet we tend to shy away from that vital piece of the puzzle.  You must Inspire others, you must empower others, you must help them achieve, AND you must hold others to account.  And that includes YOU, also.  YOU are the example for others to follow.

Spiritual Leaders are Servant Leaders in a higher gear, so to speak.  Spiritual Leadership is about leading out from the intimate work of God in your life.  Think of it as something God hands off to you, entrusts to you.  God works intentionally in you so that He might work powerfully through you!  That brings to mind a musical illustration I have often used, that of the conductor.  The conductor makes no sound, yet produces beautiful music with and through the talents of others.  Think how that applies to your work as a leader.  You can’t do it all yourself.  You must rely on getting results with and through the talents of others on your team.

Here are just a few things to make a part of you on your Spiritual Leader journey:

·      Be selfless.  Remember, being a leader is not about you.

·      Be an example of kindness and integrity.

·      Always be ready to learn more, because there’s always more to learn.

·      Learn to convey your message gently and effectively

·      Always be ready to help others in the best possible way.

Qualities and characteristics are important to list and give us points to ponder.  However, those points don’t work all by themselves.  It takes a commitment of time and effort from you to put these things into practice.  Let’s take a look at a few examples:

·      Part of being better, of making a personal commitment to being better, is recognizing and accepting that we never truly reach perfection.  World-famous cellist, Pablo Casals in his 90s, continued to practice the cello every day.  When someone asked him why, Casals said that he thought he noticed some improvement.  Now that’s a commitment to BETTER if I ever heard one!

·      The Casals example also demonstrates another key concept of serving others, and that’s Humility.  Casals, great musician that he was, also was humble enough to recognize that he wasn’t perfect, and humble enough to want to continue to play better.  Now, Humility doesn’t’ mean mushmouth, wimpy, apologetic behavior.  It means, among other things, accepting the truth that you are not perfect and there is always more you can learn.

·      Another side of Humility has been described as the “confidence that comes from humility.”  There is a kind of confidence that isn’t the chest-beating, shout-it-from-the-rooftops type of confidence.  It’s that quiet, assured confidence that you have when you know something or know how to do something well, yet you don’t have to show off your expertise to anyone.  I call that being Comfortably Confident.  Comfortably Confident – think of your own leadership experiences here and ask yourself, “How comfortably confident am I?”

·      One of the most important parts of learning to be a better leader is Listening.  Take a good look at lists of “must-haves” for becoming a better leader, and you’ll likely find Listening as one of the most important qualities.  And listening – really listening well to others – is one of the most difficult leadership skills to master.  It takes lots of practice and a strong commitment from you to honor another person by listening – really listening – to them. Yes, I said honor another person.  You honor someone when you give them your undivided attention and listen closely and attentively to what they are saying, without distracted thoughts or your own filters or jumping in with your interpretation of what you thought they said.  We’ll spend more time with Listening in a later podcast episode.

·      Following closely after Listening is taking some appropriate action to show that you Care, that you truly heard and understood and that you actually want to do something to help.  Another way to say it is Empathy, described as the ability to sense or feel another person’s emotions, to see things from another’s perspective.  Walk a mile in another person’s shoes.  Act with compassion.  Make the other person feel heard and understood.  Some have suggested showing that you care by asking “How can I help?”  I would encourage you to ask a question like that without the “I” in it.  When you say “I” you are focusing on yourself.  Be careful – you are inviting the other person to dump the problem on you.  Asking a question like “What help do you need?” or “Who can help you with this?” puts the emphasis on them, not you.  You are helping THEM solve the problem.  You aren’t stepping in to solve the problem for them.

·      Building Relationships is yet another essential element in becoming a better leader.  It seems a bit strange to me that building relationships is highlighted as being one of the top elements because as leaders, we interact with people all the time.  It ought to be self-evident that this is so important, but the reason it gets such attention here is that the importance of relationships is so often overlooked.  We need to change our focus here.  We don’t interact with machines as servant leaders, we interact with people.  We don’t lead a company, a division, a ministry, we lead people.  Think about leaders in any field that you admire, and then ask yourself how these leaders connect, motivate and inspire other people.

·      Then there’s the issue of Character, perhaps the toughest one of all to develop – because this one is all about YOU.  It IS you!  Character is having the will to do the right thing, no matter what.  It takes your courage, commitment, confidence, and sometimes a big dose of chutzpah to do what you have to do as a leader.  Jim Collins wrote that “…leadership has little to do with your style [or personality] and everything to do with your substance [or character]”.  He further defined character as “…that person you are in the dark when nobody is looking.”  To put it another way, who you are is much more important than what you do.

So, there you have it, all wrapped up in a neat little package in one short episode.  Five steps to Serving Others.  Six Tips for Better Leadership.  Seven Ways to Be a Better Leader.  Be Better.  Be Humble.  Be a Good Listener.  Have Empathy.  Build Relationships.  Have Good Character.  That’s all there is to becoming a better leader, right?

WRONG!!!  These are not things on your to-do list that you can check off, these are mountains you must climb and oceans you must cross.  These characteristics, qualities, skills, if you will, take much, much preparation, practice and commitment from you and from those you serve.  We’ve only scratched the surface here.  Leading by Serving Others is a process of becoming, not a destination. My wish for all of us is a lifetime of becoming.

And now, it’s time for some questions for you.  No, this isn’t a test, just a few things for you to think about and answer just for yourself.  There are several more items in your workbook as well as these questions, so just listen for now and think about your answers.  And here they are:

1.      Of all the characteristics and qualities of a servant leader that were mentioned in the podcast, which one(s) resonated most positively with you?

2.      With which one(s) did you feel any resistance?  Don’t worry about the “why” just now – just which one(s) felt a little uncomfortable or puzzling to you?

3.      How has your perspective of a servant leader changed so far?

4.      Which part of becoming a servant leader is most appealing to you?

5.      Which qualities or characteristics are most “comfortably confident” for you right now?

There are two other questions for you in the Workbook.  I’ll look forward to discussing these questions with you a bit later.

The next episode will be about FIVE KEYS – five essential qualities for every leader.  You may see some overlap with some of the qualities and characteristics we’ve mentioned in this episode, and you may well just find a few new surprises as well!

As always, please call or text me anytime with any questions or concerns.  Now, have at the Workbook questions, and we’ll talk soon!