FIVE KEYS

#03 - An overview of five must-haves for every leader to give you a taste of what you must do and demonstrate consistently to be a better leader:  Trust, Teamwork, Listening, Perspective, and Humor.

Transcript

Hello again, Team 412 members.  I hope you’re enjoying the series of podcasts and the workbook questions so far.  And, I hope you’re not feeling overwhelmed right now.  Taking on something new is a real challenge for all of us, so hang in there and we’ll muddle through this together!

This is Episode #3, and I’ve named it FIVE KEYS.  Now, you might well ask, what in the world is this all about?  Let’s take a look back at the previous two episodes. So far, we have had a lot of words swirling about that describe the qualities and characteristics of servant leaders and spiritual leaders.  They are all important and they represent different viewpoints from different people of what being a servant leader is all about.  

In this episode, you’ll learn about FIVE KEYS that I consider must-haves for every leader, but especially for new or newer leaders.  This episode is an overview of these FIVE KEYS.  I’m sure these are not new concepts for you, but we’ll consider some fresh viewpoints on each of these FIVE.  We’ll talk about each one in more detail in later episodes, so, again, this is just an introduction – with a little more depth - to give you a taste of what you must do and demonstrate consistently to be a BETTER leader.  Keys help open things, but they don’t work by themselves.  It takes YOU to make the keys work.   So here are those FIVE KEYS:  Trust, Teamwork, Listening, Perspective, and Humor.  That may seem like an unusual collection of topics to you now, but keep listening and then think about the questions I have for you toward the end of this episode.

Let’s talk first about TRUST.  There is a very good reason why this KEY is #1:  everything depends on TRUST.  Take a good look at lists of must-have leadership traits and you’ll find TRUST at or near the top.  To be an effective leader, you simply must earn and keep the trust of those you lead.

Have you ever worked someplace where the leader was not trusted?  I have, and was it ever a good place to leave!  It soon became obvious to me that nobody trusted the leader, and it wasn’t long before people began to lose trust in one another.  Do you begin to sense a connection here?  It doesn’t take long for a distrusting workplace environment to become toxic.  A recent survey reported that 45% of employees do not trust their leaders.  That same survey also reported that only 11% of employees feel that their leaders show consistency between their words and their actions.  Wow!  That’s mind-boggling, isn’t it?

People tend to grant trust sparingly.  That’s not hard to imagine these days.  We tend to dis-trust – advertising hype, the stock market, politicians – more than we trust.  Trust is hard to earn and easy to lose.  Warren Buffett was quoted as saying “It takes 20 years to gain a reputation and 5 minutes to ruin it.”    Gaining trust back again is like putting toothpaste back in the tube.  Not an easy task by any stretch of the imagination!

So, what must you do to earn others’ trust?  The steps don’t seem all that difficult, but it’s a long and not-so-easy process.  Building relationships based on trust takes a LOT of time and careful nurturing.  You must demonstrate – again, and again, and again – whatever it takes, that you have:

·      Credibility – it goes hand-in-hand with TRUST.  If you are CREDIBLE as a leader, you are TRUSTWORTHY.  Earn one and you earn the other.  Lose one, and you lose them both.

·      Authenticity – you earn authenticity when you show by your actions as well as your words that you are genuine, honest, and respectful of others.

·      Integrity – you must show that you can be counted on to do what you say you will do, without fail and without excuses.

·      Competence – show that you have the knowledge, skills and abilities you need to lead effectively, OR you know where and how to find others who do and who can help you.

·      Confidence – in yourself and in your team to get the job not just “done” but “well done!”  And if you have confidence in your team, your team must have confidence in you.

Earning the trust of others is a process that you must repeat over and over again, demonstrating that indeed you ARE Credible, Authentic, Competent, Confident, and a person of Integrity.  The result?  People will, in time, take you at your word, believe that you will do as you say, and place more trust in you as their leader.

The next KEY is TEAMWORK.  It’s as simple as this:  if you don’t have a team, you have nobody to lead.  You can’t do it all yourself.  Your TEAM can be any group of people – a football team, a work group, a church committee, an orchestra, a class, and so forth.  Good TEAMWORK is essential to just about everything you do or can accomplish as a leader.  Building a good team is not easy.  It takes time and lots of practice.  You must balance team and individual gifts and strengths, be aware of attitudes and behaviors, trust one another – there’s that TRUST again – hold one another accountable, and focus on achieving collective results.  Sounds easy, doesn’t it?

Well, it isn’t.  The art of leveraging the efforts of a talented group of individuals into an effective team is one of the greatest challenges you are likely to face as a leader.  Want to see great teamwork in action?  Go to a symphony orchestra concert.  As you listen to the performance, also watch how the conductor and the musicians work together to make the music happen.

I mentioned a part of this before, but it bears repeating:  The conductor doesn’t make a sound, but first envisions and hears internally how the whole orchestra will sound, then inspires, guides, directs, and influences the musicians to produce those sounds we hear and enjoy.  The conductor knows how to make music with and through the talents of others.  Now that’s TEAMWORK!

Building a good team requires you to maintain a delicate balance of team and individual strengths, attitudes, and behaviors.  Among other things, members of successful teams trust one another, hold one another accountable to a high standard of excellence, and focus on achieving collective results.

Did you notice what was mentioned first?  Trust! When trust isn’t there, your team can quickly become dysfunctional.  Patrick Lencioni’s study of team dynamics concluded that a single dysfunction can begin to undo the most successful team effort.  Now ask yourself, is the team I’m serving functional or dysfunctional?  Think about it.

The third of our FIVE KEYS is LISTENING SKILLS.  Whatever you do, you must LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN, and then LISTEN SOME MORE!  Your job as leader involves a LOT of LISTENING – or at least it should.  People like being listened to.  Knowing that they are being listened to helps your team members feel valued and more engaged with their work.  That seems to be so simple.  Yet a study of 2,000 organizations revealed that only one in three people reported that their company listens to them.  You heard that right – ONE in THREE people.  That’s hardly a passing grade, is it?

Too many of us don’t listen well these days.  We tend to think about ourselves or something else rather than truly listening to others.  When asked to describe their listening habits, many leaders admitted to thinking about other things rather than focusing intently on what the other person was saying.  They were hearing, perhaps, but not listening.  There is a big difference between hearing and listening.  Our ears hear all the sounds around us, whether it’s music, noise, or conversation.  Our ears hear more than we listen to.  When we begin to listen, we begin to filter out some sounds and focus on others.  Ask yourself:  Am I a good hearer, or a good listener?

If you want to be a better leader, spend more time listening than you do talking.  You know, there’s a reason why we have two ears and one mouth!  We should listen twice as much as we talk.  It takes practice to clear your mind and focus your attention on others as you listen.  The payback for you, the leader, is that people listen more attentively to someone who listens to them.  So, what does that tell you?  Talk less and listen more.  You might be surprised by what you hear -- if you are really listening.

Better Leaders must be excellent listeners.  One of the most intense forms of listening has been described as engaged listening.  That’s when you listen actively and intently, not only to WHAT is said but also HOW it is said through gestures, body language, vocal inflections, energy level – all of these and more.  You follow through with open-ended questions, not ones that can be answered yes or no, to make sure you understand clearly what the other person is really trying to tell you.  You listen openly, without filters and without judgment.  Engaged listening takes lots of practice, and it is one of the highest compliments you can pay to another person.  There’s a whole episode coming up that will feature LISTENING, some tips and some activities for developing your listening skills.

This next KEY – PERSPECTIVE – may seem like an odd choice to you, but I believe it’s one of the most important qualities that every leader must have.  PERSPECTIVE is one of these FIVE KEYS that, to me, is more difficult to describe than the others.  Some describe PERSPECTIVE as seeing the big picture.  Some describe vision, or focus, or purpose, or balance.  PERSPECTIVE is all of these, and more.  PERSPECTIVE is being able to see the whole of a concept, an idea, a project, and on top of that, having the ability to see all the parts and how they relate to the whole.  That’s quite a mouthful.  Let’s break down the “whole” and take a look at the parts.

Being able to see the big picture or “bird’s eye view” of a concept or a project is important, and that may have been enough during simpler times.  Today’s leaders need more of a 360-degree view to understand how all the parts relate to the whole.  Think of the computer-generated maps that make it possible to view cities at street level and then zoom up to an aerial view.  A tall building sure looks different at ground level than it does from the air.  Now, think about this -- how different does your project, your idea, your proposal look from another angle?  And another?  And another?  What impact could these different perspectives have on your team’s decisions, the quality of their work, and their outcomes?

VISION is another part of PERSPECTIVE.  The leader’s ability to imagine a thought or concept and turn that vision into reality is a most remarkable skill.  Think of all the Disney artists who were able to “imagineer” fairy-tale concepts into real-life amusement parks, or make cartoon drawings of characters seem to come to life on the screen.  Inspiring and empowering your team to follow your vision is definitely one of those must-haves.  But remember, people follow someone they trust, and they won’t if they don’t! 

Vision also involves seeing things from the perspective of others.  I am hearing in my head the old Native American proverb about “…walking a mile in another man’s moccasins…”  What a different perspective that would bring to each of us.  You, the leader, must take into account the viewpoints of others on your team to really know what’s going on inside them.  I’m reminded of a line spoken by Morgan Freeman as the character, Hoke, in the movie Driving Miss Daisy.   I’ll paraphrase the line, something like this:  “How do you know what I see unless you can look through my eyes?”  Now ask yourself, what are others seeing that I don’t?

Another part of PERSPECTIVE involves your focus on goals, committing to a course of action, and achieving those goals.  However, to focus on goals without perspective can be like looking at a two-dimensional roadmap.  What looks like a good road from point to point doesn’t show that the road is actually a narrow mountain road with steep grades, no guardrails, and no center stripe.  Been there, done that!

PERSPECTIVE also means keeping everything in balance.  Many years ago, I remember watching a circus performer on TV juggle a row of china plates, each plate spinning atop a row of sticks.  The juggler ran from one stick to another to keep all the plates spinning.  It was quite a feat.  I never saw a plate fall.  I have thought many times about that wonderful example of keeping things balanced.

As a leader, you will get plenty of advice, some good and some not so good.  It’s so very important to listen and to consider others’ thoughts, opinions and insights.  However, always keep in mind that YOUR perspective is one of a kind, just like YOU.

And our fifth key is HUMOR.  It’s included in this list because it is so  important, and is so often overlooked.  Each of these FIVE KEYS is equally important, in my opinion.  It’s last in this list because HUMOR can tie all the other KEYS together so beautifully – if it’s done right!  And that’s the trick, my friend.

Just a touch of humor at the right time and in the right amount can be an extremely effective leadership tool for you.  Using humor appropriately can reduce stress, help build relationships, and provide perspective.  Humor can show others that you are authentic, are confident, and are willing to be vulnerable.  But you must be careful – humor used in the wrong way or at the wrong time can sure backfire on you.  A good rule of thumb is to laugh WITH, never AT, others, and be ready to laugh most at yourself.  Here are a few examples:

·      Abraham Lincoln was a master of self-deprecating humor.  When accused of being two-faced, he replied, “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

·      Old-time comedian Jack Benny, in reality a very good musician, made many laugh with his portrayal of a sour-note violinist.  In reality, he was a very generous man, but got lots of laughs playing the part of a stingy penny pincher.

·      After an assassination attempt, President Ronald Reagan was able to quip to Mrs. Reagan, “Honey, I forgot to duck.”

Notice that each one laughed first at himself and used humor appropriately to “lighten up” everyone around him.  I read that children laugh several hundred times a day, and most adults laugh fewer than 50 times.  We’re missing out on some good times here!  Groucho Marx said, “If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.”

Benjamin Zander was able to get overly competitive students to lighten up by having them smile and say “How fascinating!” when they made a mistake.  The big surprise was that the students performed better because they weren’t obsessed with their mistakes but were able to relax and move on.  Try this.  I have, and it really works!

Here's a similar one that I’ve used to break a logjam and get people to lighten up.  When a group is hopelessly stuck on solving a problem, I like to ask, “What’s the most fun way you can think of to make this happen?”  Or, the most outrageous way, or the most ridiculous way.  You’ll be amazed at the creative ideas that begin to pop out!

Maybe you have trouble remembering punch lines, or maybe you don’t have a comedian’s skill at telling jokes.  That’s ok – just be yourself!  You can find humor in lots of situations.  During a long car trip, my wife once whipped out an awful photo ID of herself to distract our two quarreling teenage daughters.  Anger and tears quickly turned to giggles, then guffaws.  That brilliantly timed move has given our family something to laugh at for years.

Share a story to illustrate a point, to lighten up a tense situation, or pass along some of your favorite experiences to others.  My great-grandma always had great stories to tell, and her stories got a bit more creative each time she told them.  We kids were never quite sure which parts of her stories were true, but they sure were entertaining.  Especially the one about the time she met Jesse James.  Or was it Billy the Kid?

Hone your sense of humor – it’s so important.  President Dwight D. Eisenhower said:  A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

Since we have FIVE KEYS in this episode, I’ll ask you FIVE questions, one on each topic.  This isn’t a test, and there are no wrong answers, only YOUR answers.  Write your answers in your Workbook and give them some thought during the coming week.  Here they are:

1.      TRUST:  How do you show others they can trust you?

2.      TEAMWORK:  What is ONE best example of good teamwork that you can think of?

3.      LISTENING:  What three things can you do to become a better listener?

4.      PERSPECTIVE:  When has your perspective changed for the better after listening to others’ viewpoints?

5.      HUMOR:  From your experience, when has laughing WITH someone been most effective?

There are a couple more questions in your workbook, so please give them some thought, too.  We’ll talk about them later.

In the next episode, we’ll be navigating the Seven Cs, not the water variety, but 7 VALUES all beginning with the letter “C”.  And we’ll also do a Values Assessment to help you focus on your values and see where they show up in your everyday life.  

I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and look forward to your joining me for our individual and group calls.  In the meantime, take good care of yourself and your loved ones, and stay safe and well.